C22H25NO6

Ah, liquid shit. Oh joyous relief in my big toe at the mere cost of having all dietary intake reduced to a frequent bowl-dousing explosion of liquified stool blown at high velocity from my rectum.

Isn't modern medicine wonderful?

Which brings me to my question. Where are my fucking nanites? I want miniscule bits of high-tech hardware coursing through my veins repairing everything before I can even become aware there is a problem. Or even worms. I would accept worms like those Fry had from eating an intergalactic truck stop egg salad sandwich as seen in an episode of Futurama.

It's getting close to 2007 and we're running out of time. In the late 1970's and early 80's we were promised a veritable wonderland of mind-blowing technology. Granted, the downside to all this was the fact that we would be forced to wear horrific gold lame' polyester jumpsuits. While I wouldn't be too excited about stuffing my fat ass into such an unforgiving material, I would suffer the indiginity for benevolent nanites or super-worms. When I think about it though, it seems obvious that the rest of the world would be spared the sight of my reflective fatness if I had my super-worms. Surely they would have me looking like Greg Louganis minus the gay in no time.

Sadly, nanotechnology of such nature is sure not to be seen within my lifetime. Or your lifetime. Or your children's lifetime (me; I have no plans to spawn). I'm sure it will eventually happen though. When it does, I want my frozen head to be pulled out of storage, thawed, and put in the best damn body possible. I'll need to be in good shape in order to appease our alien masters.